TATTOOS and the people who ask about them

I have a lot of tattoos. I'm not saying that I'm covered face-to-hands or anything, I still have a LOT of work left to do. But I have some ink on every day-to-day-visible part of my body. I understand that even as tattoos become more common, there are a lot of people who don't have them or are curious. I'm already the sort of person who doesn't enjoy small-talk with random strangers in my daily travels so having people constantly asking about my tattoo work is annoying.

If you are a friend of a friend and we are hanging out somewhere (pub, flat, house, party, dinner) and it comes up in conversation, I might accept some questions. Random drive-by questions and comments tend to be ignored or at least met with a look of confusion. You can't imagine how many times in one day (even at work) people make comments or ask about them. I get a lot of people hollering "I like your tattoos" as they go past me, which is a bit odd. Am I supposed to yell back "THANK YOU OMGGGGG!!!"? I usually just give a nod. I also have a lot of people giving me their approval, like "Oh yeah, now I like that tattoo." Ummm, ok. That's usually how I answer, "Uhhh, okay." I'm not trying to be a dick but I really don't care what anyone thinks of my tattoos. I didn't get them for you so I'm not sure the reaction you thought your validation would bring. I suppose in the course of congenial exchanges, I should just be thankful and courteous and maybe if it were a once-in-a-while thing, I would be. I kid you not when I say these things happen several times a day, nearly every day. 

The three most common (and most annoying) things people say are:

1- How much did that cost?

2- What does that mean?

3- Did that hurt? (usually accompanied by a squinchy face)

"How much did that cost?" Really? That's a fucking piece of art right there and your first reaction is to ask how much I paid for it? Do you wander through a museum looking for price tags? Do you run across a sculpture in a park and wonder what the city paid for that? NO! It's impertinent enough to ask someone what their car or home is worth, but asking that about a tattoo is stupid. I hear this all the time and I just look at them like "WTF?".

"What does that mean?" None-of-your-fucking-business, that's what it means. I get my tattoos in remembrance of people I love, or for ideas that I hold true, not to give you something to converse about. I love that these people actually expect me to stop everything and go into a full dissertation about my tattoos and their personal meaning. No. I don't have time and I'm not in the habit of caring.

"Did that hurt?" Yes, you fucking idiot. I had needles drill ink into the dermal layer of my skin. Of course it hurt. Why would anyone even ask that question? Does your face hurt? Because it is killing me. This conversation also hurts me. To put the eternal tattoo question to rest, IT ALL HURTS! All of it, everywhere. Yes, I'm sure the pain may be different in certain areas, but how does one quantify that? Stop asking, you look dumb.

Really, it's fine. You like my tattoos. Thank you. Unless you know (or semi-know) the person, probably best to just admire from afar.