*Different sites even can mean different things. Names have been changed here but this will give you an idea.
- Gruff - Masculine, big, hairy, butch MEN
- Spicer - Small, smooth, nelly boys
- DudeHunt - Muscular, pig, cheaters
- OldDudeHunt - Silver foxes, old bears, tiny hairless asians/latinos, older gay that doesn't fit in anywhere else
- Burpll - Who the fk knows
- Plowr - Fat guys, huge enormous fat guys
*Certain phrases also hold their own thinly-veiled meaning.
- Fit for same - I think I am way hotter than you will think I am
- No fats or fems - I am both fat and feminine or at least one of these. Or formerly one or both
- DDF - I am a buffoon who associates two completely different things together as one
- Looking for like-minded men - This one confuses the hell out of me. Is that code for "hookup"?
- Must have face pic - My photo is likely 10 years old
- Friends Only - I pretend to be straight
- No hookups - My boyfriend doesn't know I'm here
- Hookups ok, can't host - My boyfriend knows that I'm here
- Workout regularly - I have a gym membership
- Love to travel - I go out of town once a year but I make it seem like I am a citizen of the world
- Bareback jizzy pig here - RUN, JUST RUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN
*Hypocrites rule the Internet.
My favorites are the blatant hypocrites. Like "must have CURRENT photo" but they took a pic of an old print picture (hello, we can see the reflection of the phone on the picture). Or "MEN ONLY, not into girls" and they are wearing foundation and lip gloss in their profile pic. Really??
*When completing an Internet profile, LIE LIE LIE!
Is it that hard to just represent yourself honestly???? You have to make significant lies about your age, weight, height, etc for an online profile? People who fake their profile info do a double wrong, they fool people who are not into them and waste everyone's time and they also keep themselves from possibly meeting that person who actually LIKES the type of guy they are right now. Years ago I met a guy who chose the screen-name "WYSIWYG" and also had this phrase in his profile and his photo was decent looking even if it was sort of weird pose. "WYSIWYG" stands for "What You See Is What You Get" and he went on about people being honest which I took to mean that this was an honest guy. We meet and he shows up looking 10 years older and weighing 50lbs more than he represented online and was shorter. I wasn't really sure what to do so we went ahead and put on a movie (which, I later discovered in online meeting, is a sign for hooking up). I deflected the guy and at one point he says "Well how do I compare to my profile?" I wanted to let him have it but I was embarrassed (and we were at my place) so I kinda dodged the question. Then probably 6 or 7 years later I see the SAME photo and profile stuff online... waittaminute, 6 or 7 years ago that info was WAY off, can you imagine how bad it is now? Guys like this confuse me on many levels, have you looked in the mirror? Do you use a scale? Doesn't any reasonable person recognize that it is impossible that a photo taken 10 years ago could be considered "current"?? There are a ton of guys on these apps/sites on their iPhones but are using a photo from many years ago that they used on other sites. Really? Are you that terrible-looking? If you use the phone in your hand and take a photo of yourself today, will you melt?? Are you in denial of what you look like today since you have a very flattering photo from 1998? How are people supposed to react when they see the real you when you meet each other? Also, don't get pissy with me when I call out your jacked up photo.
I'm fairly certain there will be future follow-up posts to this one.
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