Afterwards we go back to Brad's house. Brad, until a coupla mos ago, was my roommate. He rented the extra room in my house until he bought his own house. I live in the hood (on a street with a black girl name) and Brad bought a house in a different hood, also with a black girl street name, so I feel like it should be pretty much the same feeling (read: Level Of OhShit Scariness) whilst inside during the crazy dark and scary snowpocalypse. Here is where I discovered that they are not the same. My hood house is a nice tidy Craftsman-style townhouse in a row of 8 townhomes, mine being 5 of 8 so I am right up snuggled in the middle. Brad bought a loverly single home, a standalone home, just standing out in the world alone. Begging killers to just stop on by and kill whoever is inside 'til they are dead. Yep, kill em until they are dead, that's where we are right now.
Since I accidentally slept 8hrs during the day (being snowed in is boring as fk, y'all), I was not tired at all and Brad retired to bed around 1am while I stayed up desperately trying to find one of the aforementioned banned Christmas classics that I could watch alone in peace. The Replacement Killers was the movie I was finally able to find and accept. No, it has nothing to do with Christmas. Look, a goodass Christmas movie wasn't available at Brad's at 1am, get over it, I did. So I watch a little and then decide about 1:45a that I wanted a lil ciggie action. Yes, I am a part-time / weekend smoker and know that it is terrible but I am victim to some vices still and this is one of them. Hello, I'm a victim, leave me alone. So I, at first, go to the side door which has no curtain and actually is sort of scary. At night when you have to walk past this open window you don't look because you imagine something horrible will be looking back at you. Brad says that window scares him and I keep saying that I want to print out some picture of a beast face and tape it up there one night to scare him. Brad says that will result in my untimely death. Rude. Anyways, I go out this door. Standing on the step before i can even light it, I hear some crazy faraway voice like yelling at me. Saying things like "Come over here, just come here" and "Help me, you have to help me" and God only knows what the fuck else. The house on that side is not brand-new like Brad's and apparently has a super-morbidly obese owner who lives in an assisted-living home because she is too large to care for herself (these are simply facts). So I know that house, by all accessible information, should be empty and not having some scaryass ghost voice inside trying to lure me over to have my soul sucked out. BUT I HEARD IT!! Maybe I was drunk (guilty) or filling the empty night with hallucinatory voices... But I heard it. What do I do? Go the fk back inside and lock the door and freak out. This might be a good time to let all of you know that I would be the WORST horror story participant ever. Hear a scary noise? I go the other way. Think my friend has been kidnapped by monsters and is having every hole ravaged before the life will be crushed out of them? I will cry about it as I am flying the fk home because I got the hell out of there while I could. Dark, scary place that has the only known bite of food inside? I will starve because I can smell a damn trap a mile away. I also carry a knife and have a strict "shoot first" policy. Point being, if some scary shit is ever going down, you better keep the fk up because I will definitely survive.
Since I accidentally slept 8hrs during the day (being snowed in is boring as fk, y'all), I was not tired at all and Brad retired to bed around 1am while I stayed up desperately trying to find one of the aforementioned banned Christmas classics that I could watch alone in peace. The Replacement Killers was the movie I was finally able to find and accept. No, it has nothing to do with Christmas. Look, a goodass Christmas movie wasn't available at Brad's at 1am, get over it, I did. So I watch a little and then decide about 1:45a that I wanted a lil ciggie action. Yes, I am a part-time / weekend smoker and know that it is terrible but I am victim to some vices still and this is one of them. Hello, I'm a victim, leave me alone. So I, at first, go to the side door which has no curtain and actually is sort of scary. At night when you have to walk past this open window you don't look because you imagine something horrible will be looking back at you. Brad says that window scares him and I keep saying that I want to print out some picture of a beast face and tape it up there one night to scare him. Brad says that will result in my untimely death. Rude. Anyways, I go out this door. Standing on the step before i can even light it, I hear some crazy faraway voice like yelling at me. Saying things like "Come over here, just come here" and "Help me, you have to help me" and God only knows what the fuck else. The house on that side is not brand-new like Brad's and apparently has a super-morbidly obese owner who lives in an assisted-living home because she is too large to care for herself (these are simply facts). So I know that house, by all accessible information, should be empty and not having some scaryass ghost voice inside trying to lure me over to have my soul sucked out. BUT I HEARD IT!! Maybe I was drunk (guilty) or filling the empty night with hallucinatory voices... But I heard it. What do I do? Go the fk back inside and lock the door and freak out. This might be a good time to let all of you know that I would be the WORST horror story participant ever. Hear a scary noise? I go the other way. Think my friend has been kidnapped by monsters and is having every hole ravaged before the life will be crushed out of them? I will cry about it as I am flying the fk home because I got the hell out of there while I could. Dark, scary place that has the only known bite of food inside? I will starve because I can smell a damn trap a mile away. I also carry a knife and have a strict "shoot first" policy. Point being, if some scary shit is ever going down, you better keep the fk up because I will definitely survive.
Ok, I am back inside and freaking out. Do I wake up Brad and let him know some scary supernatural shit is going down next door? Do I call the police? Do I gather some rare Native American artifacts and attempt a spirit cleansing? Nope nope and nope. But I did freak out for 10 minutes and convince myself that "it" was alerted by me on the side of the house so if I go out the front, I can sneakliy enjoy my cig without dying. So I creep out the front, it is all dark. About halfway through, I hear noises on the other side. What, now I have to worry about 2 sides????? It sounds like someone walking through the ice/snow which is loud as hell because I was walking through it earlier specifically to guage the loudness if someone were walking through (survival thing, you wouldn't understand). So I hear someone walking in the dark like a beast. Or a zombie. Or both. You better know I put out that cigarette and ran the fk back inside. Where I then couldn't watch the movie because I was listening to the sounds of death outside. It is now a little after 2am and I am retreating to the guest room and hiding under the blanket. AND THEN I HEAR STEPS THROUGH THE WALL OUTSIDE!!!! Like someone is right on the other side of the wall. Like some limpy pirate zombie just keeps circling the house. I can only expect that upon investigating today, we will discover the bloody tracks of a seasoned killer out there.
See photo of the street that I took, that is some scary-ass-shit!!!
Daytime photo of the scary window and the death house next door.
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