HAIR

I'm really lucky to have great hair. I say this with a complete absence of narcisissm, just an observation. When I was younger I used to color it tons crazy colors and patterns (blue was my favorite, I did everything from the British flag to leopard prints), cut it in weird or unusual ways (mohawks, spikes, suburban mom bobs), let it grow out (my hair also grows incredibly fast). I have truly had just about every conceivable hairstyle imaginable. Between you and me, some of them looked TERRIBLE, but at least I wised up and moved on. These days, I am much more tame. I did let it grow out for almost 2 years in an attempt to look like Jackson from Sons of Anarchy (early seasons), but instead I ended up looking more like Hurley from LOST. So I buzzed off 9 inches and gave myself a high-and-tight. If the rest of my body were as great as my hair, I would look like an Olympian god. Ok, maybe that was a teense narcissistic. Pun intended. Kudos to anyone who gets that joke and can correct me. I have a trendy fade these days and when it is freshly cut, I get lots of compliments. I only offer this information as a foundation for what I'm about to serve up...

Hair. People out there have some messed up hair. And I don't mean in a punk mohawk or purple helicoptor sort of way. I'm talking about the every day ways that people in the general public try to improve their hair but they end up looking JACKED UP! Bad color jobs, horrible cuts, gel or crusty hairspray all up in there. Some of my hairstylist friends will probably hate me for saying this, but you really don't have to do all that mess to make your hair look good. 

Ladies, chunky highlights are gross. They look completely unnatural and make you look desperate. Guys, highlights period look gross, no one is fooled into thinking your frosted tips just grew in that way. People with curly hair want it straight, straight hair folks want it curly (or at least wavy). Brunet(te)s want to be blond(e), blond(e)s want to be redheads, redheads want to be brunet(te)s. I use the parentheses here because they are correct (antiquated perhaps, but correct), there are masculine/feminine versions. Look it up. The desire for something other than what we have... fascinates me. I call it "Grass-is-always-greener Syndrome". For some reason, almost seemingly in an effort to thwart nature or to make ourselves unhappy and then happy again, a lot of people have this desire to change their hair. Like a self-imposed problem that we solve by changing that aspect. 

It is an easy trap to fall into. We look at other people who look great with their hairstyle and think "Wow, that could be me looking so great!" When the reality is, the people who look great with great hair have usually done very little to get that look. Instead of fighting your hair, you should go with it. Also, be open to the advice of others. You don't have to see that Medusa's nest of snakes up there on your noggin all day, but the people in your life have to face it regularly. Chances are, the people around you could probably give you some insight on your appearance. Hell, maybe if people relied on their stylists for hair advice, we'd have a lot less frizzy, dry mops out there. Wait, take hair advice from the very people who work with hair all day, every day??! MADNESS!! 

Men, unless you have a kickin-like-karate body, chances are your long hair looks funk-nasty. Also, try washing it once in a while if you do keep it long. Butt-cuts are definitely out. Seriously. Stop. The. Butt. Cut. It looks like a butt, on your head. Guys with great short hair, CLEAN UP THAT NECK! If you are lucky enough to have slow-growing hair and only have to get it cut every so often, please don't let that neck forest grow wild. You can buy a trimmer for $20 at any mass retail store. Many hairstylists will even trim your neck for free in-between full cuts (make sure and tip, no one likes a stingy client). Gel is definitely out, no one wants to touch your hair and cut their fingers. Try a pomade, it won't hurt, I promise. American Crew has a fantastic line of men's products that work well and don't smell like a floral bouquet. 

WOMEN!!! Oh God, where do I start. Bleach blonde? No one is fooled. Your black roots start showing approximately 45 minutes after you leave the salon. Also, your hair is dry like straw. Yuck. Frizzy perms are on their way out finally, but there are still a few women perpetrating that poodle look. High-backed bobs? 1998 called, it wants the look to die. It's a reverse-mullet if you try and keep the front super-long. No. Oh, you have 42 different shades of a color layered into your hair? Looks totally natural. And by "natural", I mean "you paid hundreds of dollars for THAT?!" Curly hair? Try a serum and occasional hot oil treatments, stay the FK away from any styling product with alcohol as an ingredient. Alcohol is for drinking, not for spraying on your head. Do yourself a favor and have a hairstyle that suits you. Talk to a pro who can help you have a great head of hair for yourself, who the hell cares what men think!?

Point being, having great hair is a lot easier than you think. Stop trying so hard, it shows. Seriously.