If I am driving and people are slow and blocking me (TRAFFIC will be addressed separately, this is merely for illustrative purposes), that is waiting.
Long lines at registers, I can't stop my anger from seething. I made the mistake of going to Best Buy on Black Friday just to see what was there, I found a UFC Trainer game for my Xbox Kinect (that I have been SEARCHING for on sale) and when I got to the front, the line was so long I got ill, dropped the game and left the store. Luckily, I found it a week later EVEN MORE ON SALE. I'm sure you are relieved.
Someone buying lottery tickets at the gas station on front of me. OMGGGG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!! Now if you are purchasing anything behind the counter and do it expeditiously, we are cool. If you are one of those jackasses who have no regard for anyone waiting behind you and you decide to peruse the available scratch-off games and pick and choose a few then change your mind and then pick another, I will be forced to bludgeon you to death with the giant Gatorade I selected to purchase. Ugh. Actually I just set everything on the counter and walk out. It will take me less time to go to another gas station than it will to wait while you get 72 money orders, a pack of Swishers, handfuls of scratch-offs and some egg rolls. By the by, the $45 you just spent on tickets could have gone a long way elsewhere.
I lose my shit in drive-thrus when people A) order 632 items or B) have NO idea what they want to order. WHY ARE YOU IN THE DRIVE-THRU!?? GO THE FUCK INSIDE WHERE YOU CAN PERUSE AT YOUR LEISURE. Like, when you were pulling into the drive-thru were you thinking "Wow, this looks like a place I can diddle around and take my sweetass time!"? NO!! Go inside and gape open-mouthed at the menu while drooling. Stay out of my way!! I will honk at you. And if that doesn't work, I will seriously yell at you out of my window. Look, I have issues, I don't pretend that I am sane.
At the register and you don't have your form of payment ready? I will cough loudly and repeatedly while giving you stank eye and embarrassing you in front of your children. If you say "Oh, I forgot XYZ, let me just go grab that", I will say "Hell no." and try and trip you. If you send your poor spouse or child to go get that 1 last thing, I will insist the cashier complete your transaction as to then start on mine.
Waitstaff... as the name implies, you are supposed to do the waiting in our relationship, not me. If I have to wait on you to do anything, I will only ask you once, politely. After that, I will ignore you. And likely pay my bill without a tip. Look, everyone has a bad day or gets busy, but do you think I honestly can't see you back there texting or trying to flirt with the bartender?? Do you thiink the bartender wants to bone a waiter?? No. That chick is hot and likely only working this gig until she locks down some good ol' Wall Street financial type shit.
I feel as though I am making progress with my inability to wait, I especially try not to freak out if I am with other people. You're welcome.
Basically any time I am in line for anything anywhere, I need you to perform the expected task/behavior as quickly as physically possible. If I get buck with you, it is because you are being ridiculously slow. I assure you, I will not keep anyone waiting, just MOVE. I get double, maybe triple, pissed when someone hurries to jump in front of me, cutting me off JUST TO GO SLOW OR BE UNPREPARED!!!! You were in such a hurry to get in front of me that you forgot to go shopping first?? People often think that I am being rude but, in all reality, the other person was being rude first by dragging down the whole process for everyone else. Why doesn't anyone ever get mad at the slow bugger who is so clueless and careless that many other people have to wait on them?? I am supposed to be sympathetic to your ineptitude? Do you have a doctor's note for that condition??
At the register and you don't have your form of payment ready? I will cough loudly and repeatedly while giving you stank eye and embarrassing you in front of your children. If you say "Oh, I forgot XYZ, let me just go grab that", I will say "Hell no." and try and trip you. If you send your poor spouse or child to go get that 1 last thing, I will insist the cashier complete your transaction as to then start on mine.
Waitstaff... as the name implies, you are supposed to do the waiting in our relationship, not me. If I have to wait on you to do anything, I will only ask you once, politely. After that, I will ignore you. And likely pay my bill without a tip. Look, everyone has a bad day or gets busy, but do you think I honestly can't see you back there texting or trying to flirt with the bartender?? Do you thiink the bartender wants to bone a waiter?? No. That chick is hot and likely only working this gig until she locks down some good ol' Wall Street financial type shit.
I feel as though I am making progress with my inability to wait, I especially try not to freak out if I am with other people. You're welcome.
Basically any time I am in line for anything anywhere, I need you to perform the expected task/behavior as quickly as physically possible. If I get buck with you, it is because you are being ridiculously slow. I assure you, I will not keep anyone waiting, just MOVE. I get double, maybe triple, pissed when someone hurries to jump in front of me, cutting me off JUST TO GO SLOW OR BE UNPREPARED!!!! You were in such a hurry to get in front of me that you forgot to go shopping first?? People often think that I am being rude but, in all reality, the other person was being rude first by dragging down the whole process for everyone else. Why doesn't anyone ever get mad at the slow bugger who is so clueless and careless that many other people have to wait on them?? I am supposed to be sympathetic to your ineptitude? Do you have a doctor's note for that condition??
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